CAST

Jack Meoff (M) - Main Character, Hero of the story

Princess JellyBean (F) - Leading Female

Dame Wanky (M) - Dame of the story, Jack's mother

Jerk Meoff (M) - Jack's Brother

Hairy Fairy (M) - Good Fairy and narrator of the story

Giant Cumhard (M) - Giant, pervert, may be a sound recording

Miss Phyliss (F) - Evil witch referred to as Syphilis

Queen Bean (F) - Good Queen of the Kingdom

Dancers (M/F) - Required

PLOT

The Wanky Family, a poorer family of the town hit disaster when their beloved family cow, Plough, doesn't produce milk anymore - everyone's had a go. Jack and Jerk are ordered to go and sell the cow at the market by their mother, Dame Wanky, but Jack has a date with the Princess JellyBean so needs to rush back. The evil witch, Miss Phyliss tries to delay Jack to ensure he doesn't meet the Princess later but Jerk kindly offers to take Plough, much to Miss Phyliss' frustration. 

The story is narrated by the Hairy Fairy, a good fairy that appears drunk most of the time but who controls the storyline well. Dame Wanky now decides to open a bakery in the family home to generate an income but Jerk appears with magic beans. The beans eventually grow and the family climb up to the Giants kingdom to rescue the Princess that was taken from them to find other lost treasures have also been taken by the perverted giant. The magical storyline contains a tonne of sexual references and innuendoes throughout to keep the adult audience entertained. 

RUNNING TIME

Act 1 - 60 minutes 

Act 2 - 50 minutes

SCENES

ACT ONE

1    PROLOGUE / VILLAGE SQUARE (SHITTERTON)

2    WITCH’S LAIR

3    JACKS HOUSE

4    ROAD TO MARKET

5    JACKS HOUSE

5A   BEFORE THE PARTY

6    VILLAGE/PALACE SQUARE

ACT TWO

1    CLOUDS IN THE SKY

1A  WITCHES LAIR

2    GIANTS LAIR

3    CLOUDS IN THE SKY

3A  WITCHES LAIR

4    VILLAGE SQUARE

4A  WITCHES LAIR

5    12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

6    VILLAGE SQUARE FINALE